The Legend With An Even Worse Plot
by Dee1
Summary: Took me long enough to finish and post this, huh? Sorry for the wait. What's the horrible plot this time? The owner of CVS is plotting to take over the world, and guess who steps in to foil his/her plans? Take a guess... Bwahaha...


Authors Note: Woo hoo. o.o Hiya guys! *Waves* This is the next installment in my odd "The Legend of No Plot" series, as I'm sure most of you already know. Some of you might wonder why I continue with these things. Well, I kinda want "The Legend of No Plot" to be literally a "LoD fanfic legend" of some sort. I want people to say "Hey! Remember that short kid who wrote those plot-less fics?! She was weird!" Wishful thinking, I suppose. Anyway. This one is about CVS trying to take over the world, and I try to stop them. Meru, Haschel, and Kongol soon join me and... I dun wanna give the whole thing away. *Slight frown* This one seemed less funny than my other ones... Not sure if that's just my low self esteem creeping up on me, or if it's true. You guys tell me. I want truthful answers. Is this one less funny than the others?   
  
Me and my stupid long authors notes. o.o;;   
  
This fic obviously has lots of CVS bashing. However, I in no way wish to offend anyone who works there or anything. It's all humor, guys. *Blinks*   
  
And yes, I am well aware that I make Meru incredibly stupid in my fics. Actually, I make everyone more idiotic than they really are. Even I'm not as dumb as I make myself out to be. (The key word be being "as"...) But you see, I do that on purpose, because it's funny to see characters act in ways that are strange for them. Well, at least to some people, I guess.   
  
Finally, The "vanquish" line was created by my friend Joe (Or so he says.), the whole scooter thing is an inside joke between me and my friend Tiff, and the "I'm sorry. Do you need a hug?" line is something I always say to my friend Steve after I say something mean to him. (He gets all sad and makes me feel bad. So I give him a hug. :D)   
  
I'm done now. Heh.   
  
  
The Legend With An Even Worse Plot   
  
  
(It's a few days after out last exciting romp with everyone's favorite idiots. They would've probably been back to their stupid ways much quicker, if they hadn't all gotten sick from eating those CVS brand gummi bears that the owner of the inn slipped into their party snacks. Apparently he was angry because they were making such a mess. Well, they made an even bigger mess when they all started puking, so he lost either way.)   
  
Owner of the Inn: (Cries)   
  
(They've all recovered now, though, and they're back to being bored and are just lying around watching Dee and Meru kick the crap out of each other in Dead or Alive 2.)   
  
Dee: I SHALL WIN! YOU ARE WEEEEEEAAAAK!   
  
Meru: GO BIG NOSED MAN! SHOW HER YOUR POWEEEEEEER!   
  
(Everyone blinks as the scary fighter known as "Tengu" kicks Bayman in the face, killing him and ending the match. Tengu does an odd pose.)   
  
Tengu: UMMMMMMM!   
  
All: ...   
  
Haschel: Well THAT was odd.   
  
Dee: (Insert typical eye twitch here.) WHAT?!   
  
Meru: I WIN! YAAAAAY!   
  
Dee: REMATCH! AND NO RANDOM CHARACTERS THIS TIME!   
  
Meru: FINE!   
  
(While they go about choosing their characters, Dart looks to everyone else and yawns.)   
  
Dart: Will someone tell me why we're watching those two scream at each other while bashing buttons and making their characters jump around a bunch on the screen?   
  
Albert: Because we have nothing better to do.   
  
Dart: ...Oh... Right...   
  
(Everyone turns back to Dee and Meru, who have now started their bout.)   
  
Dee: FEEL MY WRAAAAATH!   
  
Meru: MY WRATH IS COOLER!   
  
(Kasumi and Ayane kick the crap out of each other, and it seems Dee is once again losing.)   
  
Dee: NOOOO! I CAN NOT LOSE! MUST BASH BUTTONS!   
  
(Dee bashes the buttons on the controller, and Kasumi starts doing a little jig. Everyone stares at the screen wide-eyed.)   
  
Meru: Dude! She's doing a little dance!   
  
All: Whoa...   
  
Dee: (Freaking out.) NO YOU IDIOT! DO AN ATTACK! KICK OR SOMETHING!   
  
(Meru yawns, and calmly presses a button on the controller, causing Ayane to give Kasumi a boot to the head, ending the match.)   
  
Dee: NOOOO! KASUMI HAS BEEN BEATEN! I WILL AVENGE THEE, MY FALLEN COMRADE!   
  
(Dee lunges at Meru, and they are soon fighting in real life.)   
  
Lloyd: She is WAY too into this.   
  
Rose: One too many times getting beaten by her friend must've done it.   
  
Guaraha: KICK HER ASS, MERU!   
  
Shana: THE VIOLENCE! IS IT REALLY NECESSARY?!   
  
All: YES!   
  
(Shana whimpers and cowers in the corner.)   
  
Miranda: (Sleeping)   
  
Haschel: (Poking Miranda with a stick.) Hum de hum...   
  
(Dee and Meru suddenly stop fighting. It seems like a good thing they did too, because that plastic fork was really close to Meru's eye.)   
  
Dee: Heeeeeey...Let's all riverdance!   
  
All: ...   
  
Rose: There is no number high enough to express your level of stupidity...   
  
Dee: What a nice thing to say! Thank you, Rose!   
  
Rose: ...I think I should just go back to being silent...   
  
(Miranda suddenly wakes up and gives Haschel the evil eye.)   
  
Miranda: Why are you poking me?   
  
Haschel: 'Cause it's fun?   
  
Miranda: ...Would you like to stop on your own, or do you want me to make you stop?   
  
Haschel: Uhh...   
  
Miranda: ROOOOOOOAR!   
  
(Miranda jumps up and decks Haschel, sending him flying across the room.)   
  
Haschel: IEEEEEEE!   
  
Meru: Hey look! Haschel can fly!   
  
(A loud crash is heard as Haschel hits the wall.)   
  
Kongol: He crash pretty well, too!   
  
Haschel: I'm ok... Really I am...   
  
(Miranda snorts and falls back to sleep. Everyone sits there being silent for a while. Until...)   
  
Shana: YOU BRUISED THE POOR OLD MAN'S HEAD! WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO CRUEL?!   
  
All: SHUT UP!!!   
  
Shana: ...Ok.   
  
(Once again, everyone is silent. If only it would last. Finally Dart speaks up.)   
  
Dart: Let's go for a walk or something.   
  
Dee: Why?   
  
Dart: Because we have nothing better to do?   
  
All: True...   
  
Guaraha: Whatever. Let's go, then. It's better than sitting around here doing nothing!   
  
(So they... Go for a walk. How boring. After a few hours of annoying poor innocent bystanders and watching Dee, Meru, Haschel, and Kongol almost get run over by various cars, they head back to the inn.)   
  
Rose: ...Well. That was a complete waste of time...   
  
Albert: It was better than watching Dee and Meru play video games.   
  
Dee: DUDE! LOOK WHAT KONGOL CAN DO!   
  
(Everyone turns to find Kongol picking up cars and crushing them into little squares.)   
  
Kongol: Kongol make compact car!   
  
Meru: YAY!   
  
Haschel: Let me try!   
  
Kongol: Haschel too wimpy.   
  
Haschel: Am not!   
  
Kongol: Are too!   
  
Haschel: Am not!   
  
Kongol: Are too!   
  
Dee: (Eats popcorn.)   
  
Meru: COOL! (Points and laughs at the arguing fools.)   
  
Albert: ...Uh oh. Hey, Dart. We're passing the CVS.   
  
Dart: Oh crap. Umm... Just don't say anything. Maybe Dee won't noti--   
  
Dee: AHHHHHHHH! THE PLACE OF EVIL!   
  
(Dee dives behind a pile of Kongols compact cars. Dart sighs.)   
  
Dart: ...Notice...   
  
Dee: THE HORROR! WE'VE ALL BEEN CURSED!!   
  
(Before Dee can rant about the evil deeds of CVS, three people suddenly run out the doors, being chased by a mob of CVS clerks.)   
  
Dee: AHHHHHHHH! THEY'VE COME TO STEAL MY COLLECTION OF PLASTIC SPORKS FROM TACO BELL!   
  
Meru: ...You have one too?   
  
CVS Clerk: YOU WILL DIE, SPIES FROM K-MART!   
  
CVS Clerk 2 : YOU CANNOT ESCAPE!   
  
CVS Clerk 3 : KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLL!   
  
(The Dragoons all look at each other and lift a brow. Dee peeks out from her little hiding spot, observes the scene, and shakes her head.)   
  
Dee: It's a pity. Their souls will surly be eaten by whoever it is that owns CVS.   
  
Meru: Really?!   
  
Dee: Yes. The one who owns the large chain of CVS stores eats souls. He's evil like that. (Eyes dart around suspiciously.)   
  
Albert: Oh please... I don't know where you hear this stuff, Dee!   
  
(Everyone blinks as the CVS clerks return, dragging whoever it was that had been running away along with them.)   
  
CVS Clerk 4: YOUR SOULS WILL BE FED TO OUR MASTER!   
  
CVS Clerks: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!   
  
(They proceed back into the CVS. The group just stands there, staring.)   
  
Dee: What were you saying, Al?   
  
Albert: Shut up...   
  
(Dart shrugs, and walks up to a random bystander.)   
  
Dart: Hey... What was that whole thing about?   
  
Bystander: You haven't heard? CVS is plotting to take over the world!   
  
***   
  
(Wait a minute... Time out... You have GOT to be kidding me... PLEASE be joking, Dee! I BEG OF YOU!!)   
  
Dee: Nope. I'm afraid it's no joke.   
  
(Why, Dee?! WHY MUST YOU TORTURE US ALL WITH TERRIBLE AND WANNABE-HUMOROUS PLOTS?!)   
  
Dee: I'm sorry... Really I am.   
  
(I can't believe this...)   
  
Dee: Well stop complaining and do your job. It'll be over with quicker, that way.   
  
(Fine...)   
  
***   
  
Dee: SWA NA NAAAAAAAAAA!   
  
Albert: Oh please! Where did you hear this?   
  
Bystander: It's been on TV for a few days now...   
  
Lloyd: Well maybe if two certain idiots hadn't been playing PS2 all day and night, we would've heard about it...   
  
Dee and Meru: ...Moo?   
  
(The bystander blinks and stares at Dee and Meru like they're insane. Which they are, mind you. Rose pushes her way through the gang and stands in front of the bystander.)   
  
Rose: Please ignore their idiocy. They are of no importance.   
  
(Dee and Meru make faces behind Rose's back, but stop when she turns and looks at them. When she turns to the bystander again, they continue.)   
  
Rose: Ok... So... CVS... As odd as it sounds... Is going to try to take over the world... So what about K-Mart?   
  
Bystander: I think they tried to fight back. Fools, all of them! FOOLS I TELL YOU! They should've backed off like Wal-Mart! No one would get hurt that way!   
  
Dee: (Blinks) My mom works at Wal-Mart.   
  
(Everyone turns to Dee and stares for a moment, then turn back to the bystander.)   
  
Dee: ...Fine then! Be that way!   
  
Bystander: Yeah... So CVS is rounding up all who oppose them and "stealing their souls", so they say.   
  
(Suddenly a CVS Clerk swoops down from the sky on a hand glider and grabs the bystander, then he flies off into the distance cackling insanely.)   
  
All: ...   
  
Haschel: Well THAT was odd.   
  
Miranda: Oh yeah. Definitely.   
  
Guaraha: You've said that already, Haschel.   
  
Haschel: I have a feeling I'll be saying it a lot more during this pathetic excuse for a fic.   
  
Shana: I TOLD YOU THE VIOLENCE WOULD LEAD TO CVS TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!   
  
Kongol: ...Shana did not tell us so.   
  
Shana: Yes I did! You were just... Not listening!   
  
Kongol: ...For some funny reason, Kongol believe that.   
  
Dart: Whatever. Let's just go back to the inn.   
  
Dee: ARE YOU CRAZY, MAN?! CVS IS TAKING OVER THE WORLD! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE UNLESS WE STOP THEM NOW!   
  
Dart: ...Yes. A chain of stores is going to take over the world... I don't think we have much to worry about.   
  
Dee: You under estimate the power of CVS! IT'S EVIL!!   
  
Albert: ...Kongol?   
  
Kongol: Kongol take care of problem.   
  
(Kongol picks up Dee and carries her back to the inn along with the others.)   
  
Dee: This whole Kongol carrying me around thing is getting old...   
  
Meru: At least you don't have to walk.   
  
Dee: ... That IS pretty good, isn't it?   
  
***   
  
(They all arrive back at the inn, and things seem to settle down for a little while. Until...)   
  
Lloyd: Hey... Where's Dee?   
  
Miranda: (Looking around.) Good question. She was just here a few minutes ago.   
  
Albert: She better not have gone to cause trouble at CVS. She'll get herself arrested or thrown in an insane asylum... (Well known long pause.) Wait a minute... That'd be a good thing... (Grins evilly.)   
  
Meru: I think I saw her go upsta--   
  
(Meru is interrupted by a sudden war cry, and Dee runs down the stairs with war paint on her face, holding the "Almighty Spatula of Death" in one hand, and the "Spork of Death" in the other, and a holstered Nerf Gun at her side.)   
  
Dart: ...Dee... What the hell are you doing?   
  
Dee: I don't care what any of you say! I'm gonna go stop CVS before we're all mindless CVS zombie things! AND NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME!   
  
(Dee makes a dash for the door, but fails to notice that Rose has stuck her foot in her path, and ends up flat on her face.)   
  
Dee: ...Ouch...   
  
Lloyd: (Sits on her back.) You're not going ANYWHERE.   
  
Dee: (Considers the position she's currently in.) That's fine with me. (Grins)   
  
Lloyd: ....You're an idiot.   
  
Dee: Why thank you.   
  
***   
  
(A few minutes later, the Dragoons have tied Dee to a chair and forced her to listen to one of Albert's lectures about how she shouldn't be so idiotic all the time, which she pretends to listen to. After using fanfic magic to escape and once again try to get to CVS, Kongol grabs her and locks her in the closet. She bribes Meru to let her out for a stale five month-old donut she found on the floor, but her plans are once again foiled. This time by Miranda, who she stupidly crashes into while trying to get out un-noticed. Finally, Dee has become fed up, and she resorts to...THE BIG GUNS!)   
  
Dee: LOOK! A DISTRACTION!   
  
All: Where?!   
  
(They all stupidly look, and Dee dives out the window. They all turn around, realizing they were tricked by the biggest moron of them all.)   
  
Guaraha: ...I feel REALLY dumb...   
  
Haschel: So do the rest of us...   
  
Albert: Dee tricked me...?! THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE! I'M INTELLIGENT! (Falls to the floor and cries like a baby.)   
  
Dart: (Sighs) Ok... Meru, Haschel, and Kongol. You three go after her.   
  
Kongol: Why we go?   
  
Dart: Because I said so.   
  
Haschel, Meru, and Kongol: ...Ok.   
  
(The three walk out to find their missing buddy.)   
  
Rose: We should've never made that damn truce... I could've killed her and the problem would've been solved.   
  
Shana: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! KILLING IS BAD! IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO BRING SHAME TO THIS WORLD! WHAT IF EVERYONE JUST DECIDED THEY WERE GOING TO KILL?! THEN WHAT?!   
  
All: ...Why Soa? Why?   
  
***   
  
(Off in a faraway land... Actually, right across the street... A figure can be seen darting between the parked cars in the CVS parking lot, humming the Mission Impossible theme, holding a spatula and a spork.)   
  
CVS Clerk 1: The Great One is going to promote me! I can feel it!   
  
CVS Clerk 2: Uh huh... Sure. (Yawns) You got any Cheese Whiz?   
  
(The "figure", whom we all know is Dee...)   
  
Dee: Well, crap. And I thought I was being stealthy!   
  
(Keep dreaming. Dee continues to run around like a fool, until Meru, Kongol, and Haschel walk up behind her.)   
  
Meru: HI!   
  
Dee: AHHHHHHH! IT'S JOAN RIVERS! SHE HAS COME TO SEEK REVENGE FOR KATHY LEE'S DEATH!   
  
(Dee dives under one of the cars, and Meru blinks in confusion.)   
  
Haschel: Dee. Get out from under there.   
  
Dee: Haschel? (Peeks out from under the car.) IT'S MY BUDDIES!   
  
(Dee slides out from under the car and gives her buddies a big group hug.)   
  
Dee: HAVE YOU COME TO VANQUISH CVS WITH ME?!   
  
Meru: YES! I WILL VANQUISH CVS! ...Once I look up vanquish in the dictionary!   
  
Haschel: No Dee. We were sent to bring you back to the inn.   
  
Dee: Why?   
  
Haschel: Because.   
  
Dee: Why?   
  
Haschel: Because.   
  
Dee: Why?   
  
Haschel: Because...   
  
Dee: Why?   
  
Haschel: BECAUSE!   
  
Dee: (Blinks) ...Why?   
  
Haschel: JUST BECAUSE!!   
  
Dee: But... But... I have to foil the evil plans of CVS!   
  
Haschel: You can do it some other time.   
  
Dee: (Whining) But I wanna stop them nooooooooooooow!   
  
Haschel: No.   
  
Dee: Pleeeeeeeeeease? (Gives Haschel the...PUPPY DOG EYES!)   
  
Haschel: (Twitch) No... Must not... Fall for... Cute eyes of doom!   
  
(Try as he might to fight it, Haschel falls to the puppy dog eyes of death. They then go about planning. Memories of "TLWABP" are being brought back... This won't end well.)   
  
***   
  
(A few minutes later, the CVS Clerks who are guarding the door continue to... Pay no attention to what's going on around them. It always so easy for the good guys to break into the evil guys fortress, ever notice that? The CVS Clerks continue to talk about promotions and cheese whiz, when suddenly a small foam dart with a suction cup on the tip flies across the parking lot and hits one of them in the forehead, causing him to drop dead. Don't worry, it will all make sense in a moment... At least it'll make sense in Dee's demented mind...)   
  
CVS Clerk 1: (Lying there dead.)   
  
CVS Clerk 2: OH MY GOD! HE'S BEEN HIT BY A POISONOUS DART!   
  
(Everyone's favorite idiots suddenly walk up behind him.)   
  
Kongol: Actually, CVS man wrong.   
  
CVS Clerk 2: The hell? (Turns around.)   
  
Dee: It was a dart from...THE NERF GUN OF DEATH!   
  
(Must everything she owns have a title ending with "Of Death"?)   
  
CVS Clerk 2: (Gasps) No!   
  
Meru: (Gasps) Yes!   
  
Haschel: Ok. Let's just get this over with.   
  
(Dee suddenly whaps the still standing CVS Clerk with the Almighty Spatula of Death, and he... Dies... I STILL need another job. Any offers? Anyone?)   
  
All: WE WIN! NYAAAAAAAAA!   
  
Kongol: So now Kongol and Haschel put on name tags?   
  
Dee: Exactly.   
  
(Kongol and Haschel steal the name tags from the fallen CVS Clerks and put them on.)   
  
Meru: (Reading Haschel's name tag.) 'Hello, my name is Ed.' ...HI ED!   
  
Haschel: Shut up.   
  
Meru: (Snickering) Ed... Heh heh...   
  
Kongol: (Looks down at his new name tag.) Kongol's name is Bill now?   
  
Dee: Sure Kongol... Err... Bill.   
  
Kongol: ...Right.   
  
Haschel: Ok...So we go in there and eventually meet up with you two... How come we're risking being discovered while you get to sneak around in secrecy...?   
  
Dee: Because we said so. And what we say goes, because we're girls, and you are mere idiotic men.   
  
Haschel: Dee. That hurt.   
  
Dee: I'm sorry Haschel. Do you want a hug?   
  
Haschel: ...No.   
  
Dee: Bah. Fine. (Turns away and sulks.) Now just follow the stupid plan!   
  
Haschel: Stupid is right...   
  
(Haschel's comment goes unheard, because Meru and Dee are now on the roof, and soon disappear from sight. Well, that was quick of them.)   
  
Haschel: Let's go, Kongol.   
  
Kongol: ...Bill...   
  
Haschel: ... (Sighs)   
  
***   
  
(Back at the inn...)   
  
Miranda: What's taking them so long?   
  
Rose: I bet you anything that they're invading CVS as we speak.   
  
Albert: Idiots.   
  
Dart: Well... We'll wait for a bit more, then we'll go find our missing fools.   
  
Lloyd: Why go find them? Aren't things a lot better WITHOUT them?   
  
All: ...   
  
Dart: Good point.   
  
(Back at CVS, Dee and Meru are crawling around in the air vents. What fun.)   
  
Meru: THIS IS COOL!   
  
Dee: It's too dark in here! (Loud thud.) OW! MY HEAD!   
  
Meru: Again?   
  
Dee: Like you haven't hit your head on the sides yet...   
  
(Meru lifts a brow, which obviously goes unnoticed considering the fact it's dark.)   
  
Meru: I haven't.   
  
Dee: ...Crapola.   
  
Meru: Maybe we should've brought a flashlight or something.   
  
Dee: THE GREAT DEE NEEDS NO FLASHLIGHT! (Thud) OW!   
  
Meru: HA HA!   
  
(Scene switch to "Ed and Bill".)   
  
Haschel: Ok...We havta find the managers office. Dee said the owner of CVS would probably be in there. Any ideas as to where it might be?   
  
Kongol: Over there?   
  
(Kongol points across the store, to a large neon sign that says "Manager's Office".)   
  
Haschel: Uhh ...Yeah... Good idea.   
  
(They make their way over, only to run into two more CVS Clerks while they are moments away from the office. Does this remind anyone else of a James Bond movie?)   
  
CVS Clerk 1: I haven't seen you guys around, are you new?   
  
Haschel: Umm...Yes. We...Uhh... Just got here today... Yeah...   
  
CVS Clerk 2: Really? What are your names?   
  
Kongol: KONGOL'S NAME IS BILL! CAN STUPID CVS MAN NOT READ KONGOL'S PRETTY NAME TAG?!   
  
(Haschel elbows Kongol in the side, although Kongol doesn't even feel it. The CVS Clerks look at each other and blink.)   
  
CVS Clerk 1: Oh...Ok. Want some Cheese Whiz?   
  
(In the Manager's Office, some guy is peeking out the door at Haschel, Kongol, and the CVS Clerks.)   
  
Some Guy: Those two don't seem familiar...   
  
(Suddenly, a booming evil voice is heard from the shadows.)   
  
Booming Evil Voice: What do they look like?   
  
Some Guy: Well one is really big and was yelling about how his name was Bill, and the other guy is old and seems a bit irritated by something.   
  
Booming Evil Voice: Hmm...I believe I know who they are...   
  
Some Guy: What do you me--   
  
(Some Guy is interrupted by two screams and a loud crash. He peeks out the door again.)   
  
Some Guy: Umm. Sir. You're not going to believe this, but two girls just fell from the ceiling.   
  
Booming Evil Voice: One is short and carries a spatula and a spork, and the other is barely dressed?   
  
Some Guy: Umm...Yes!   
  
Booming Evil Voice: So they've come to foil my plans again, have they?   
  
Some Guy: (Uncertain) So it seems...?   
  
Booming Evil Voice: THIS TIME THEY WILL NOT SUCCEED! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ...LAUGH WITH ME!   
  
Some Guy: Oh! Yes sir!   
  
Both: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!   
  
Booming Evil Voice: Bring the idiots to me! ...And my Dragonball Z action figures as well. VEGETA WILL FINALLY KILL GOKOU! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!   
  
Some Guy: ... (Lifts a brow) Yes sir.   
  
Evil Booming Voice: Those morons thought they could stop me, did they?! ...Hey... My name changed! Oh well. No matter. I shall now continue my evil cackling. (Clears his throat.) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!   
  
***   
  
(Back at the Inn...)   
  
Lloyd: Ok... I'll admit it. It's REALLY boring around here without Dee, Meru, Kongol, and Haschel.   
  
Miranda: I never thought I'd say this, but it's TOO quiet in here.   
  
Albert: Even I miss them, for Soa's sake!   
  
Rose: Don't worry. You'll get used to it. Things will be much better without them around.   
  
All: Yeah... You're right.   
  
(There is a moment of silence, and Rose comes to the realization of something.)   
  
Rose: Hey wait a minute... DEE OWES ME 5 BUCKS!   
  
Dart: ...And?   
  
Rose: SHE NEEDS TO PAY ME BACK! DAMNIT WE HAVE TO GO SAVE THEM OR I'LL NEVER GET MY MONEY!   
  
Miranda: ...You can just get more money.   
  
Rose: NEVER! THAT LITTLE RUNT WILL PAY ME BACK! NOW LET'S GO DESTROY CVS AND BRING BACK OUR IDIOTS!   
  
(Rose storms out of the inn waving her rapier/sword/whatever around insanely. Everyone looks at each other.)   
  
Albert: I suppose we should follow her. She might cause TOO MUCH damage.   
  
Shana: THE VIOLENCE IS NOT NECESSARY! HOW CAN I CONVINCE YOU?!   
  
All: YOU CAN'T! NOW SHUT UP!   
  
Shana: ...Fine. (Crosses her arms and sulks.)   
  
Dart: Let's go!   
  
(The start to rush out, until Guaraha speaks up.)   
  
Guaraha: WAIT A MINUTE!   
  
All: What?   
  
Guaraha: I need to finish my Fig Newton!   
  
Miranda: Who cares about your stupid cookie?!   
  
Guaraha: IT'S NOT A COOKIE! IT'S A FIG NEWTON!   
  
Lloyd: Ooh! Fig Newton! (Joins Guaraha.) LONG LIVE THE FIG NEWTONS!   
  
Albert: (Has a sudden outburst of insanity.) DO YOU HAVE ANY GREY POUPON?! (Goes back to being calm.)   
  
Dart: Hello? Guys? Go stop Rose from killing things? Saving our friends? Did you forget these plans we just made 30 seconds ago?   
  
Guaraha and Lloyd: FINE!   
  
(They stuff the remaining Fig Newtons into their mouths, and then everyone rushes out towards CVS, trampling people on the sidewalk and causing accidents on the street.)   
  
***   
  
Haschel: (Eyes Dee and Meru.) Well. That was graceful.   
  
Dee: (Climbing out of the rubble that was once the ceiling.) Shut up... ED.   
  
Haschel: I WILL kill you.   
  
Dee: I WILL force you to listen to ten straight hours of the chocobo theme from FF VII.   
  
Haschel: ...Oh my Soa. I wish that I could've done such an amazing move as falling from the ceiling. Only you could do it so well, Dee.   
  
Dee: That's what I thought.   
  
Meru: Ow... I hurt my head.   
  
Haschel: Great... Like she needs more brain damage.   
  
Meru: (Long pause) THAT WAS FUN! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!   
  
Kongol: Bill would like to inform friends that our cover is now blown, and two funny CVS guys staring at us evilly.   
  
Haschel: You don't need to call yourself Bill anymore, considering the fact that we have indeed been discovered.   
  
Meru: Sucks to be us.   
  
Dee: Oh yeah.   
  
(Suddenly, using some sort of evil magic, the Evil Booming Voice makes the four appear in the manager's office.)   
  
Evil Booming Voice: Why hello there... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!   
  
(The Evil Booming Voice makes his Vegeta action figure kick his Gokou action figure, and it flies across the room, pegging Meru in the forehead.)   
  
Meru: OW! THAT WAS CHEAP AND UNFAIR! ...Not to mention it hurt!   
  
Evil Booming Voice: Oh. Sorry. BUT AT LEAST GOKOU HAS FINALLY FALLEN! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!   
  
(The four look to each other.)   
  
Haschel: ...Well THAT was odd.   
  
(And there goes the third time he's said that.)   
  
Kongol: Yes. Kongol agree. COMPLETELY.   
  
Evil Booming Voice: Anyway. So you four fools thought you could stop me from taking over the world?   
  
Dee: Yeah actually.   
  
Evil Booming Voice: SILENCE!   
  
Dee: ... Fine. Meany.   
  
Evil Booming Voice: As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted... Such a thing is not possible. Because I am too evil to be stopped! AHAHAHAHAHA!   
  
Some Guy: (Muttering) Which is why you always lose...   
  
Evil Booming Voice: What was that?   
  
Some Guy: Nothing.   
  
Evil Booming Voice: Ok then. So, do you four think that I LOOK easy to foil?!   
  
Meru: How would we know? You've been hiding in those shadows the whole time.   
  
Evil Booming Voice: Oh... That's right. I knew I forgot something!   
  
(Evil Booming Voice steps from the shadows to reveal...)   
  
All: ...MELBU FRAHMA?!   
  
(Who saw that one coming? A show of hands, please?)   
  
Readers: (Raise their hands.)   
  
Evil Booming Vo--...Melbu Frahma: YES! IT IS I! THE GREAT AND ALL POWERFUL MELBU FRAHMA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!   
  
Kongol: Kongol thought we killed Frahma.   
  
Haschel: Damn plot twists.   
  
Dee: Oh well. If it's Frahma, then we're not in as much trouble as we thought.   
  
Meru: (Nods in agreement.)   
  
Melbu Frahma: Are you mocking me?!   
  
Dee and Meru: ...Yesno?   
  
Haschel: So, why exactly are you trying to take over the world using a chain of stores again? Is there some sort of logic in that we're not aware of?   
  
Melbu Frahma: SILENCE! I WAS going to be nice to you, but now you will face... "THE BEAST"! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! YES!! "THE BEAST"!!   
  
Meru: Nice going. You made Frahma lose it.   
  
Haschel: So? He can join the club...   
  
Kongol: Kongol doesn't want him in our club!   
  
Dee: Don't worry Kongol. He'd never pass our IQ test anyway. It's kind of hard to get below -32645953262.   
  
Meru: ...It wasn't that hard for us--... Ohhhhh... I get it.   
  
(Melbu Frahma, now irritated that he hasn't phased the morons with his threats of "The Beast", slams a fist down on his desk, causing a trap door to open underneath them. They stay suspended in mid-air for a few seconds as they look down at the now non-existent floor.)   
  
Dee: ...This won't end well.   
  
(They then plummet into... Where ever exactly the trap door leads to.)   
  
Meru: BOOGENHAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen...   
  
Melbu Frahma: Now no one shall stand in my way! AHAHAHAHA--   
  
Some Guy: Sir?   
  
Melbu Frahma: HAHAHA-- What?! NEVER INTERRUPT MY EVIL LAUGHTER!   
  
Some Guy: Sorry, but I just got word that a strange group of people led by a man in red armor are making their way over here right now, screaming something about retrieving their idiots. Oh and there's also a woman who just scared away all the clerks leaving us without protection. Nothing all that important, I suppose.   
  
Melbu Frahma: ...Soa? Couldn't I have gotten off easy? Just this once? IS WINNING TOO MUCH TO ASK?!   
  
Soa: Yes. Now shut your mouth so the fic can continue.   
  
***   
  
(After falling for a while, Kongol hits the ground, creating a large crater. Soon Haschel, Meru, and Dee land on Kongol creating one big pile up.)   
  
Meru: THAT WAS FUN! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!   
  
Haschel: Let's not.   
  
Kongol: ...Does Kongol look like cushion to you?   
  
Dee: Well you--   
  
(Kongol glares and Dee immediately shuts up. He then shoves them off and stands up. Once they've gotten themselves together, they realize they're in a really dark, damp pit type place. Yes. I am reading this from my script, and Dee has terrible description skill.)   
  
Dee: Stupid narrator...   
  
Meru: So where exactly did Frahma send us?   
  
Haschel: (Cracks his neck.) He said he was sending us to "The Beast".   
  
Dee: It's probably a stuffed cat...   
  
Kongol: CAT?! IEE! (Cowers)   
  
Haschel: Stop being such a wuss!   
  
(Suddenly the sound of footsteps can be heard in the shadows. The four freeze and stare, awaiting whatever it is to step out...)   
  
Kaffie: HIYA!!   
  
All: AHHHHHHHHHH!! NOOOOOOOO!!!   
  
(They scramble around frantically, trying to find a way out, including climbing up the walls.)   
  
Kaffie: HeyguysIhavn'tseenyainawhilewhereyabeenImissedya'causeIhadnoonetotalktoaboutreallycoolstuffandstuffbecauseIIIjustdidn'tandeveryoneelsewouldrunawayscreamingandIstilldon'tknowwhhhhhhhhy!   
  
Dee: (Tries to rip off her ears.) NOT AGAAAAAAAAAIN!   
  
***   
  
(Meanwhile... After various unsuccessful attempts to kick open the automatic doors, Rose decides to do it the simple way and just walks through, still waving her sword around madly.)   
  
Rose: YOU WILL ALL DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!   
  
CVS Clerks: EEEEEEK! WE WILL ALL DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!   
  
(The CVS clerks scatter and run for their lives, rather than protecting their "all powerful" leader.)   
  
Rose: COME BACK AND FIGHT YOU WIMPS!   
  
(While Rose is busy screaming insults at the fleeing enemy, the rest of the Dragoons show up.)   
  
Dart: (Looking around the empty store.) Rose... What'd you do? And why is there no blood or limbs detached from bodies lying around?   
  
Rose: I walked in... AND THE COWARDS RAN! BECAUSE THEY KNOW I AM ALL POWERFUL AND WOULD HAVE RIPPED THEM ALL APART! ...And why the hell are you not worshipping me, Lloyd?!   
  
Lloyd: I'M SORRY, MY GODDESS! (Bows)   
  
Albert: Well, the good thing is that we don't have to fight anyone.   
  
(DON'T JINX IT!! ...Suddenly screams of pain and agony can be heard echoing throughout the store.)   
  
Miranda: What was that?   
  
Shana: It sounded violent! (Twitches) Bad... Is... Violence... (Twitches again.)   
  
Guaraha: ...You really need a stress reliever.   
  
Albert: Oh Soa. Insanity outbreak coming along... (Has another brief moment of insanity.) THAT'S ME LUCKY CHARMS, THEY'RE MAGICALLY DELICIOUS! AND PART OF A BALANCED BREAKFAST TOO! (Goes back to being normal.)   
  
All: ...   
  
Lloyd: Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!   
  
Rose: I'M COOCOO FOR COCOA PUFFS!   
  
(Everyone looks at Rose.)   
  
Rose: ...Do you all want to die?   
  
(Everyone looks away.)   
  
Rose: That's right. BE AFRAID! (Hisses)   
  
Miranda: I think all of you should seek professional help.   
  
(Some Guy suddenly appears in front of them. The scene suddenly freezes and lightning strikes in the background.)   
  
Lloyd: Well THAT was odd.   
  
Shana: YOU STOLE HASCHEL'S LINE! HOW COULD YOU?! STEALING IS JUST AS BAD AS VIOLENCE!   
  
All: SHUT UP!!   
  
Shana: (Twitches)   
  
Some Guy: ...Right... I'm afraid you won't be going any further.   
  
Dart: And who in Soa's name are you?   
  
Some Guy: I'm Some Guy.   
  
Dart: ...Well, obviously. But what's your name?   
  
Some Guy: That IS my name. Some Guy.   
  
Dart: Oh... So you fell victim to Dee's non-creativeness?   
  
Some Guy: Actually I think she was trying to be funny.   
  
Dart: Another pathetic attempt.   
  
Some Guy: Indeed.   
  
Dart: ...Why are we talking like friends when in reality we should be killing each other?   
  
Albert: And why did the rest of us suddenly stop talking?   
  
Some Guy: No idea. As I was saying... You will not go any further. My master has ordered you to be destroyed.   
  
Shana: THE VIOLENCE IS NOT NECESSARY! LET'S ALL JUST--   
  
(Guaraha grabs a 2x4 out of nowhere and bashes Shana on the head with it, knocking her out cold.)   
  
Dart: Dude! You just bashed my girlfriends head in! (Eye twitch)   
  
Guaraha: ...My arm twitched?   
  
(Dart snatches the 2x4 and gets ready to beat Guaraha into a bloody pulp, but he is interrupted by Some Guy.)   
  
Some Guy: EXCUSE ME!! THAT'S THE SECOND TIME I'VE BEEN INTERRUPTED! ALL OF YOU MORONS SHUT UP!   
  
All: ...   
  
Some Guy: That's better. My master, the great Melbu Frahma...   
  
All: WHAT?!   
  
Albert: We killed Melbu Frahma!   
  
Lloyd: Well that sucks.   
  
Rose: No it doesn't! NOW WE CAN KILL HIM AGAIN! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!   
  
Dart: Hey! She's right!   
  
All: WOO HOO!   
  
(They start dancing around happily. Some Guy is not pleased that he has once again been interrupted.)   
  
Some Guy: AS I WAS SAYING... My master wants you all eliminated. Those four idiots that came before you are probably already dead.   
  
Rose: DAMNIT! NOW I'LL NEVER GET MY 5 BUCKS!   
  
Some Guy: ...I'll continue for the fourth time... Since "The Beast" is busy right now, you will face... (Lightning strikes.) "THE OTHER BEAST"!   
  
All: ... Oh no?   
  
(Suddenly Relena Peacecraft appears in front of the Dragoons.)   
  
Some Guy: AHAHAHAHA! NOW YOU ARE PROBABLY SCARED BEYOND BELIEF!   
  
All: ... (Stare at the peaceful looking girl in front of them.) No?   
  
Some Guy: ...Right. Well I think I'll watch now as you are all annihilated. (Steps to the side, laughing insanely.)   
  
Albert: ...Ok... And who are you?   
  
Relena: I'm Relena Peacecraft!   
  
(Everyone continues to stare, looking clueless.)   
  
Miranda: ...And?   
  
Relena: You want some background information, do you? Fine! About a year ago, Dee wrote an insane fanfic about her and her friends. In it, there were some very violent things going on, and I, a pacifist, stepped in to stop the pointless bloodshed. They did not like me very much, and they blew my head off with a shotgun. I was not happy.   
  
Guaraha: Well dude. You lost your head. I think I'd be pretty mad too.   
  
(Relena's eyes suddenly glow a deep red, making her look really creepy and evil.)   
  
Relena: SHUT UP! I'M NOT DONE!   
  
Guaraha: EEP! (Cowers)   
  
Relena: So I wish to seek revenge on Dee and all who are acquainted with her. YOU WILL BE MY FIRST VICTIMS!   
  
(Relena pulls two missile launchers out of nowhere and holds them up on her shoulders.)   
  
Relena: Any last words?   
  
All: ...   
  
Lloyd: So Dee turned a pacifist into a blood-thirsty lunatic?   
  
Miranda: Only she could pull off something like that.   
  
Shana: (Lies there twitching.)   
  
***   
  
(Back with the idiots and "The Beast".)   
  
Kaffie: ANDSOIWASREALLYLONELYWITHNOONETOTALKTOSINCEEVERYONEKEPTRUNNINGAWAYANDIDIDN'TKNOWWHYBUTIALREADYTOLDYOUTHATDIDN'TISOTHENIMETMELBUFRAHMAANDHESAIDHEWOULDGIVEMEASECONDJOBANDICOULDTALKTOLOTSOFPEOPLEANDTHEYWOULDLISTENAND...   
  
(Yes. Believe or not, she's STILL talking. Dee has collapsed and is twitching on the floor, Kongol has stuck his head in the ground like an ostrich believing doing so will save him, Haschel is covering his ears and humming to try and keep his little sanity, and Meru is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying.)   
  
Dee: This is just... Too much...   
  
Meru: I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIIIIIIIE! (Wails)   
  
(Kongol says something, but goes unheard considering his head is in the ground.)   
  
Haschel: LA LA LAAAAAAAA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! NO I CAN'T! LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!   
  
(Suddenly, a man runs by screaming, trampling Kaffie in the process.)   
  
Vyse: I'M SORRY, AIKA! I WAS ONLY KIDDING! YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE CARROT TOP! I'M SORRRRRRRRRRRY! AHHHHHHH!   
  
Aika: (Chasing him with his own swords, which she stole. Oddly enough she also tramples Kaffie as she runs past.) YOU ARE SO DEAD!   
  
Fina: (Skips after them, ALSO trampling Kaffie) TRA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAA!   
  
(The three mis-placed characters continue running, right through a door marked "Exit" that wasn't there previously.)   
  
All: ...   
  
Haschel: Well THAT was--   
  
(OK! YOU'VE KILLED IT! IT'S DEAD! GONE! DONE! THE END!)   
  
Haschel: ...Right.   
  
Meru: WE'RE FREE! FREEEEEEEEEEE!   
  
Dee: WE'RE NOT DEAD! WE LIIIIIIIIIIVE!   
  
Haschel: WEEEEEEEE!   
  
(The three do an odd little dance.)   
  
Meru: Let's go!   
  
Haschel: Yeah!   
  
Dee: WAIT A MINUTE!   
  
Both: What?   
  
Dee: We need to get Kongol's head out of the ground!   
  
Kongol: ...   
  
Both: Oh yeah!   
  
***   
  
Relena: So who wants to be blown to pieces first?   
  
(Everyone steps back, leaving Dart and the now magically awake Shana standing there by themselves.)   
  
Dart: HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!   
  
Shana: THE VIOLENCE IS--   
  
All: WE KNOW! BAD!   
  
Shana: ...YEAH!   
  
Relena: PREPARE TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIE!   
  
(Relena fires a missile, and everyone screams and scatters, diving into the aisles and hiding behind boxes and such. The missile hits the wall, making a huge hole.)   
  
Relena: YOU MOVED! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO MOVE! THAT'S CHEATING! CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER!! (Stomps her feet angrily like a little kid.)   
  
Lloyd: (Peeks out from behind a box.) The lunatic is throwing a temper tantrum!   
  
Albert: That's usually a BAD thing.   
  
(A door that everyone seemed to overlook suddenly flies open, and in runs Haschel, followed by Meru. Kongol follows them, but gets stuck in the doorway. He shrugs and pushes himself through, making a considerably larger opening.)   
  
Meru: Heh heh... Kongol broke the door.   
  
Some Guy: WHAT?! How are you idiots still alive?!   
  
(Rose suddenly jumps out from her hiding place and grabs the closest person, who happens to Meru. She strangles her for no apparent reason.)   
  
Rose: WHERE'S DEE?! THAT RUNT IS DEAD! ...ONCE I GET MY MONEY!   
  
Meru: Can't... Breath... Air... (Her face begins to turn blue.)   
  
Haschel: For the love of Soa, Rose! Calm down! Dee should be right behind us...   
  
Kongol: Kongol saw Dee stop and look at something while we were running through all those rooms and getting lost.   
  
Haschel: (Coughs) Kongol. No one was supposed to know about that.   
  
Kongol: Oh... Right. Sorry.   
  
Lloyd: Well where is she now?   
  
(As if on cue, Dee rides in on one of those scooters that old people ride in the stores.)   
  
Dee: AHAHAHAHA! LOOK AT MY ALMIGHTY SCOOTER...   
  
All: (Finishing it for her.) Of Death...   
  
Dee: YEAH!   
  
Some Guy: ...I think I should join the narrator in finding a new job.   
  
(Let's go, while they're distracted by Dee's immense stupidity!)   
  
Relena: AHA! YOU FINALLY SHOW YOURSELF, DEE!   
  
Dee: (Looks at Relena.) OH MY SOA IT'S THE PACIFIST! Wait a minute... Aren't you dead?   
  
Relena: I WAS! BUT DUE TO FANFICTION MAGIC I HAVE BEEN BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE AND I AM ON A QUEST TO SEEK REVENGE! NOW THAT I'VE FOUND YOU I WILL--   
  
Dee: You don't have to yell. I can hear well enough if you just talk.   
  
Relena: ... I am going to enjoy killing you.   
  
(Everyone else watches silently, mainly because Dee doesn't want to give them lines.)   
  
Dee: Riiiiiight. I'm sure you WOULD enjoy killing me, but you won't be doing that. Because I have my new... (Lightning strikes... Yet again.) ALMIGHTY SCOOTER OF DEATH!   
  
Relena: Oh really? And what can your pathetic scooter do against my incredibly heavy missile launchers that I can somehow carry?   
  
Dee: Pathetic?! You call THIS pathetic?! WATCH THIS!   
  
(Dee starts doing 360's while everyone stares.)   
  
Dee: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!   
  
All: ...   
  
Dee: This thing can drag cars around, too! (Does another 360.) WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!   
  
Albert: I'm starting to think we should help this Relena person kill her.   
  
Rose: I SECOND THAT!   
  
Dee: CHARGE!   
  
(Dee drives towards Relena at two mph on her little scooter thing, and after a few minutes, she "crashes" into her, but the scooter just sort of stops once it makes contact.)   
  
Dee: ...Umm... AHA! NOW YOU'RE DEAD!   
  
(Relena eyes do that creepy glowing red thing again, and she somehow grows fangs.)   
  
Dee: (Blinks) ... (Insert New York accent here.) How you doin'...?   
  
Relena: ROOOOOOOAR!   
  
Dee: EEEEP! SHE'S GONNA KILL ME!   
  
(Dee makes a run for it, with the rabid Ex-Pacifist chasing her.)   
  
Lloyd: Hehe... She is SO dead. (Snatches a box of microwavable popcorn off the shelf and eats it whole.)   
  
Meru: Whoa! Look at 'em go!   
  
Haschel: Look! The Relena person has a mop! Oh wait, Dee has packaged ramen noodles! NOW Relena's going down.   
  
(A loud thud is heard, followed by an "Ow".)   
  
Haschel: Ok. I was wrong. Dee's ramen noodles were not as powerful as Relena's mop.   
  
Dee: Ok... This sucks.   
  
Relena: DIIIIIE! (Lunges at the poor midget.)   
  
Dee: Oooooook...   
  
(Dee strikes a martial arts pose, and Relena suddenly freezes in mid-air. Dee rises into the air and Relena flies across the store.)   
  
Dee: HA! EAT MATRIX ATTACK! (Falls to the floor.) OW!   
  
Relena: Ok... Back to the missile launchers! (Pulls them out of no where.) NOW YOU DIE, MIDGET!   
  
Dee: (Freaks out.) OK! I'M SHORT! WE GET THE POINT! NOW SHUT UP!   
  
(Dee snatches some CVS brand candy, and with amazing accuracy she just seems to have, she throws it at Relena, and it somehow manages to fly into her mouth.)   
  
Relena: ...Oh crap.   
  
(Relena twitches and dies. Wasn't that simple? Oddly enough, when she drops her missile launchers, one fires and hits Some Guy.)   
  
Some Guy: I'M FREE! FREE OF THE IDIOCY! YAAAAAAAAY! (Happily explodes.)   
  
All: ... Ewwwwwwww.   
  
Dee: I WIN! (Does the macarena.)   
  
(... Well that WAS odd.)   
  
Guaraha: You said it wrong!   
  
(Oh shut up.)   
  
Shana: (Looks at the dead Relena.) I don't feel so good... (Faints)   
  
Miranda: (Shakes her head.) What did I ever do to deserve to have friends like this?   
  
Miranda Haters: You were born.   
  
Miranda: SHUT UP! (Shoots an arrow at them.)   
  
(DOINK! 2 DAMAGE!)   
  
Miranda: ...I hate you all.   
  
Rose: HEY! LET'S GO KILL FRAHMA!   
  
All: YEAH!   
  
Dee: WOO HOO! This'll be fun!   
  
Rose: You're next.   
  
Dee: Crapola...   
  
***   
  
Melbu Frahma: (Dancing around his office in a tutu.) PRETTY PRETTY DANCIIIIIIIING!   
  
(In walk our idiots, who basically stand in the doorway, frightened by what they see.)   
  
Melbu Frahma: I FEEL PRETTY! OH SO PRETTY! IT'S ALARMING HOW--   
  
(Frahma stops when he notices everyone, and they all stare at each other for about five minutes.)   
  
Melbu Frahma: Umm... Err... (The tutu magically disappears.) You.. Umm... Erm... How are ya?!   
  
All: ...   
  
Melbu Frahma: ...This never happened.   
  
Dart: Of course not.   
  
Albert: We saw nothing.   
  
Rose: Never happened.   
  
Lloyd: Nope.   
  
Haschel: Not at all.   
  
Meru: Ever.   
  
Kongol: We forget all about this.   
  
Dee: What were we remembering again?   
  
Shana: Good question.   
  
Miranda: No idea.   
  
Guaraha: My mind draws a blank.   
  
Melbu Frahma: Ok... Let's... Start over...   
  
Dart: Yes.   
  
Albert: Let's.   
  
Rose: Good idea.   
  
Lloyd: Ok.   
  
Haschel: Sounds good.   
  
Meru: Mhmm.   
  
Kongol: Kongol agree.   
  
Dee: Affirmative.   
  
Shana: Right.   
  
Miranda: Indeed.   
  
Guaraha: Ok... From the beginning now...   
  
Melbu Frahma: Very good...   
  
(Our "heroes" steps out of the room, and rush back in a few seconds later screaming like lunatics.)   
  
Dart: MELBU FRAHMA! PREPARE TO DIE! ...AGAIN!   
  
All: YEAH!   
  
Melbu Frahma: Ah! If it isn't the ones who killed me!   
  
Albert: How DID you come back to life, anyway?   
  
Melbu Frahma: (Shrugs) For the sake of the terrible plot?   
  
Lloyd: Makes sense... I think.   
  
Rose: OK! STOP WASTING TIME! KILLLLLLLLL!   
  
(Rose attacks Frahma and starts kicking his ass. Dee. I beg of you, end this quickly. Everyone else, excluding Dee, begins beating on Frahma too.)   
  
Melbu Frahma: OW! HEY HEY! THAT WAS MY EYE! WATCH THE ARM! OW! WATCH THAT ONE TOO! (Loud snap.) Ohh... That's gonna hurt in the morning.   
  
(Dee makes her way over to Frahma's desk.)   
  
Dee: Hey guys! Watch this!   
  
(Dee slams a fist down on Frahma's desk. Nothing happens.)   
  
Dee: Ok... I must not've hit it hard enough.   
  
(She tries again, but still nothing happens.)   
  
Dee: ...HELLOOOOOO?!   
  
(She begins banging on it insanely.)   
  
Dee: WOOOOOOOOOOOOORK! Darn thing must be broken...   
  
(She kicks the desk angrily, and the trap door opens, sending Frahma into the pit thing.)   
  
Melbu Frahma: WHY SOA?! WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy...   
  
All: (Blink) HA! WE WIN! (They all do a little dance.)   
  
(Down in the pit...)   
  
Melbu Frahma: (Hits the ground.) Oh shishkabobs... I lost AGAIN!   
  
Kaffie: (Rises from the dead... Again. It seems she can't stay dead...) HIYAMELBUFRAHMAHOWYADOINGIWASGETTINGBOREDBECAUSETHOSENICEFRIENDSYOUSENTTOCOMETALKTOMERANAWAYANDIWASLONELYAND..   
  
Melbu Frahma: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!   
  
(Of course we all know he won't.)   
  
***   
  
(Back at the inn.)   
  
Dee: (Prances around.) BWAHAHA! I SENT HIM TO "THE BEAST"! I AM SO INCREDIBLY COOL!   
  
Guaraha: How can someone so short have such a large ego?   
  
Dee: What's with all the short jokes in this fic?! (Eye twitch.)   
  
Miranda: Don't blame us. YOU'RE the one writing it.   
  
Dee: Oh yeah! I forgot about that!   
  
Shana: THIS FIC WAS SO VIOLENT! WHHHHHHHHHHHHY SOA?! WHY MUST YOU ALLOW THIS TO GO ON?! (Cries)   
  
Haschel: Well, at least we don't have to listen to Dee rant about how evil CVS is anymore.   
  
Dee: The hell you say! CVS is STILL evil!   
  
Kongol: But... We got rid of Frahma!   
  
Dee: So what? Frahma was just one part of the evilness! I WILL CONTINUE TO HATE CVS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!   
  
Albert: Old habits die hard.   
  
Dart: (Sighs) To think we went through all that, and she's STILL going to bug us with stories of the evil deeds of CVS.   
  
Meru: Aww come on! IT WAS FUN! PEPSI FOR EVERYONE! (Tosses cans around the room.)   
  
Lloyd: WOO HOO! PEPSI! (Catches a few.)   
  
Meru and Lloyd: THE JOY OF COLAAAAAAAAAAAAA!   
  
Rose: Ohhhhhhhh Dee... (Cracks her knuckles.)   
  
Dee: Umm... Yes...?   
  
Rose: Now that Frahma is gone... Guess whose turn it is to receive a beating?   
  
Dee: But... You CAN'T kill me!   
  
Rose: I know. But remember that conversation we had about maiming not counting as killing...?   
  
Dee: ... Note to self. Never borrow money from Rose ever again.   
  
Narrator from the Powerpuff Girls: So once again, the time of the readers is wasted... Thanks to Dee!   
  
(HEY! THAT'S MY JOB, BUDDY! Ahem... So the day ended not so peacefully. The end. Go and regain the sanity you lost while reading this fanfic. Goodbye, and goodnight.)   
  
Dee: SWA NA NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (Gets decked.) OW!   
  
***   
  
Vahn: Hey! We were actually left out of this fanfic!   
  
Noa: Aren't we in it right now?   
  
Vahn: ... Oh. We are, aren't we?   
  
Gala: Go figure.   
  
END! 


End file.
